Day 53 - Cheerful Hat

Thought of the day: Lila was sick earlier this morning and recovered happily after a long nap.  Tonight it was Jasmine's turn to get sick with a bad headache.  I know she will be well again tomorrow, but how can a parent not have this heart in the throat, momentarily lost and very scared feeling when a child suddenly throws up or screams in pain, no matter how many times this may have happened before?  Yes, you know that your child will be OK, but deep in the heart the worst fear is always lurking.  We can be so easily carried away by fears that may sometimes be legitimate but are oftentimes irrational, fears that you don't want to face or admit but can never escape from.  Being human is like taking a ride on a roller coaster of emotions - a ride for the life time - and the more people you're deeply attached to, the more intense the ride is going to feel.  This is also a moment when I really sympathize with the single parents.  Being with a sick child alone must be very scary, bonding but very scary.  I hope they all have a support network which they can rely on and get reassurance from.

Photo of the day:

Jasmine loves her new, bright, cheerful knitted hat.  She asked me to take a picture of her with the hat this morning, when she was still as happy and bubbly as can be.

Day 52 - Game Time

Thought of the day:  Today we got our Christmas tree - healthy, locally grown, and pesticide-free.  In the past years, we just grabbed the best looking trees we happened upon, sometimes in a store, sometimes in a roadside tent.  We never thought about asking questions.  But of course this year is different.  A little bit of research showed me that most of the 25 million Christmas trees sold every year in this country were sprayed with pesticides at some point.  Some were even sprayed with colorants to look good.  Doesn't that dampen the holiday spirit a little to know that the centerpiece in your home may be loaded with chemicals, some of which may not even be approved for residential use, if the approval stamp means anything in the first place?  I called a few well known stores and found out that none of them carried untainted trees.  One of them was very proud to carry trees "trucked in from Washington and Oregon refrigerated".  Well, there goes the energy savings of all the LED lights.  Luckily, I called a local tree farm and finally found our Christmas tree - healthy, locally grown, and pesticide-free.

Photo of the day:

Game time, game time...  Will there be a game under the Christmas tree this time?  I wonder, i wonder...

Day 51 - Sunrise Reflection

Thought of the day: Today I was greeted by a magnificent sunrise in the Millennium Hotel.  Our room facing west on the 5th floor was perfect for watching the sunrise.  And then I spent a relaxed morning in Table Mesa area with dear friends.  In the evening we had a dinner party at the Med (Mediterranean Restaurant) - festive crowd, good food, good company.  All in all, another great day in heaven.  (This was written a day later.  I was actually planning to write something else but one extra day was enough to filter out all little things and leave me with what really mattered.)

Photo of the day:

Magnificent sunrise viewed from our room in Boulder's Millennium Hotel.

Week 7 - Beyond Pesticides

This week I decided to make donations to support Beyond Pesticides.  This is a not-for-profit working towards a world free of toxic chemicals.  They take a two-pronged approach to the pesticide problem by identifying the risks of conventional pest management practices and promoting non-chemical and least-hazardous alternatives.  They provide very useful information on their web site.  They responded quickly and helpfully to my urgent request for help after our pesticide exposure earlier this week.  We need more public awareness and policy changes that can be promoted by an organization like this.  I am so glad to be supporting them now instead of our former pest management company.

Day 50 - Knitted Bear

Thought of the day:  We became the environmental refugees from our home, at least for one night.  Our doctor confirmed that both girls showed signs of inflammations, probably due to the exposure to pesticides sprayed in our home two days ago.  I wish I took them to the doctor earlier, and stayed away from our home sooner.  But at this point I have stopped asking whys and what ifs.  I really want to focus on what is happening to us and what we can do.  What can we do so we can undo, as much as possible, what has been done to us? What can we do so we won't compromise our health further by future exposures? What can we do so this won't happen to others routinely, sometimes unknowingly?  It is challenging, however, when bad practices are already common practices.  You know it goes too far when a prominent local hotel offers "hypoallergenic" rooms that had just been sprayed with toxic chemicals.  I am not able to cheer people up with many positive thoughts today.  I will count on the happy bear to do the job for me.

Photo of the day:

I did run into some pretty generous people today.  This morning the guy at Brewing Market Coffee gave me a mug bearing their logo.  It's not a super fancy mug but I really appreciated the gesture.  And then the Children's Alley gave everybody a bag of hand knitted winter necessities - scarfs, mittens, hats, sweaters, and happy bears!  Apparently it was done by a group of community knitters for the children.  I feel like an imposter receiving such generous gifts when we already have everything we need.  I will give back to them somehow.  Between the guilt of receiving and the pleasure of giving, it's not hard to decide which one to choose!

Day 49 - Recycle

Thought of the day:  A friend of mine writes a journal for her little girl to read when she is old enough.  Recently she wrote: "If you ever feel like you don't have a purpose, please remember that it is not the great things we do in life that matter.  It is the small ways we affect the lives of the people we know, and the small ways that they affect ours.  That is why we all matter so very much."  It's very well said indeed.  Reading it made me really emotional today because of the context of the message.  I love you, my friend.  And you are making a difference, every day.


Photo of the day:

Recycle your coffee sleeve - a small thing that matters.

Day 48 - Red Note

Thought of the day:  It was indeed a sad day today.  I discovered that our pest control company, which we have been using for years, was spraying bad chemicals in the house.  We were not notified in advance, and the spray was totally unnecessary.  I fired them immediately, but how much damage has already been done?  We have two innocent, unsuspecting kids growing up in a house that had, most likely, been sprayed in the past.  I have betrayed their trust and have put their health in danger and that makes me overwhelmingly, unspeakably sad.  Companies, in spite of their efforts in building a trustworthy image, can not be trusted to watch out for your benefit.  Not at all. No matter how many years they have been there.  No matter how many households they serve.  No matter what they claim.  Your health, and your kids' health, are solely on your own hands.  I have learned this in a hard way.  And I hope I will never forget this again.

Photo of the day:

In the studio of Jasmine's piano teacher, a note and a handsome boot hung on the door to collect EFAA donations in lieu of gifts for the teacher.  This demonstration of generosity and holiday spirit definitely brightened up my day more than anything else.